Potholes in Tokyo
by The Rabid Toenail
Summary: (yxy, bxr, etc) Yami is a businessman and Yuugi is an orphan. When they meet, Yami at once decides to take him home. ch8: The answer to the burning question! COMPLETE
1. My Poor Cardboard Box Mansion!

Potholes in Tokyo by Cassandra Rettop-AKA Aki-san  
  
Disclaimer: I won't even claim to own YGO, because they'll take me back to that place with the padded walls.  
  
Summary: Yami Mutoh is a successful young businessman. Yuugi Mutoh is a little homeless boy. What happens when these two meet? Only time can tell.  
  
Warnings: Future shounen-ai. Also includes mineral water, potholes, and cardboard mansions.  
  
Chapter One: My Poor Cardboard Box Mansion!  
  
The sleek black limo bumped across the busy streets of Tokyo as the occupant, a multi-billionaire businessman, selected a bottle of mineral water from the fridge. Yami Mutoh growled as the vehicle hit a pothole. The disturbance had caused the mineral water to drip all over his shirt.  
  
Anzu, his rather ditzy butler, slammed on the breaks (which made more water spill onto Yami) before offering him a napkin. (Where it came from is anyone's guess.) While waiting on the stoplight, she reapplied her lipstick, causing her lips to shine with the light of a million fish scales! She gave herself a self-satisfied smirk as she straightened her bow tie and adjusted her bra strap, making sure to be in full view of the mirror.  
  
Yami rolled his eyes, turning his gaze to the wonderful scenery outside the window! His eyes were presented with about five McDonald's on the same street corner, a Jamaican man in pink bell bottoms, and some strange bell-carrying people standing outside the local Wal-mart  
  
With all this random idiocy, he was hardly able to make out a large collection of cardboard boxes, arranged in such a way that they resembled a miniature mansion. There even seemed to be a garage made from a microwave box. He peered, interested, for there was something golden glinting in the sun, barely seen because it was halfway under the 'door' of the garage.  
  
"Stop the car!"  
  
Anzu slammed the brakes indignantly, the precious mineral water spilling on his pants this time. He decided to ignore the cold shock on his legs as he stepped outside, blinking in the sunlight before he placed his sunglasses on his nose.  
  
He knelt beside the copious cardboard boxes and yanked on the golden stuff, which he found to be hair.  
  
"Owwwwwwwww."  
  
Without warning, the boxes shifted violently. Yami jumped back, before he realized that the cause of the movement was because the box was ALIIIIIVE! No.I'm lying. A little boy (whose name is Yuugi, but we won't tell Yami that, now will we?) had been inside the box, and was now clutching his hair and yawning.  
  
"Eh?"  
  
Yami was surprised, because this boy looked like a younger, more innocent version of himself. He stood, crimson eyes locked with violet. Until.  
  
"Why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
"Umm.are you homeless?"  
  
"Well, uh.NO! BECAUSE I HAVE A CARDBOARD BOX MANSIOOOOON!"  
  
"Would you like to come home with me?"  
  
"No, because my mansion is better than any old house!"  
  
"I live in a real mansion."  
  
"O.o. Oh.then would you tell me, is my garden in the right place?" The boy gestured to a pizza box with lots of little broccolis taped to it.  
  
Yami sweat-dropped. "Actually, most gardens are around /there/." He pointed to an empty space next to the cardboard patio, standing up. "So, what's your name?"  
  
The boy with tri-colored hair looked up at him. "Yuugi."  
  
*~*  
  
Anzu seemed angrier than usual, if the near-collision with the little old lady and her grandson on the crosswalk was any sign. Yuugi didn't notice this, seeming happy as ever as he sat beside Yami in the back, clutching a golden puzzle to his chest. Yami stared at the pyramid-looking thing with its strange markings and the eye in the middle, a bit curious as to what it was. Oh well, all in good time.  
  
Yami didn't notice they were in front of his mansion until Anzu slammed on the brakes for the umpteenth time that day. Yami was surprised he didn't have whiplash yet. He was waiting for Anzu to open the door for him, when he realized that she'd already tromped into the house (he saw the door slamming behind her). "Jeez, she must be PMSing or something; she doesn't usually act this crabby," Yami remarked as he pulled open his door.  
  
Yuugi hopped out after him, stumbling a little (Yami caught him and helped him regain his equilibrium), before turning and asking, "What's PMS?"  
  
"Ehhh.nothing, nothing at all."  
  
"Oh, O.K." Yuugi now looked utterly confused, which was rather cute, not that Yami would think that. Oh no. *snicker*.  
  
"Are you hungry?"  
  
Yuugi's stomach growled rather loudly. "A.little."  
  
Yami snorted. "Well, why don't I show you to the kitchen, eh? I'm sure the cook has something you can eat." Yuugi timidly followed Yami through the long halls, wondering how he would remember where everything was. After what seemed like half a mile of hallway, Yami stopped in front of a set of highly polished double doors. He cast a backward glance at the smaller boy before opening the doors for him.  
  
"Hello, Tomb Robber," Yami called merrily to the white-haired cook, whose back was turned at the moment. Yuugi noticed that 'Tomb Robber' was wearing a frilly pink apron, and he had to fight himself so he wouldn't giggle. However, a little of the sound escaped, and the cook whirled around.  
  
"BY RA, PARAOH, I'LL KILL YOU ONE DAY!" Upon seeing that the front of the apron read 'Kiss the Cook', Yuugi burst into hysterics, clutching the sides of his stomach as he gasped for air.  
  
"Who.who have you brought with you today, Pharaoh? Have you found yourself another catamite?"  
  
"You shut up, Bakura!" Yami said, clamping a hand over the cook's mouth. Some muffled speech was heard. Yami finally got tired of Bakura talking into his hand and relinquished the hold, going to the sink to wash his hands. Meanwhile, Bakura continued his speech.  
  
"AND WITH ALL THE COCONUTS ON THE COUNTERTOP AS MY WITNESS, I WILL STAB YOU TO DEATH WITH A RUSTY WOODEN SPOON WHILE YOU ARE ASLEEP!"  
  
"Really?" Yami asked as he applied antibacterial hand soap to his palms and rubbed them together. "Well, if you make a mess, you'll clean it up, won't you? Anzu might get mad if she has to clean up all that blood."  
  
"WHY YOU-YOU DESPICABLE PHARAOH!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. So, Bakura, could you please cook something for Yuugi here?"  
  
Bakura muttered under his breath for a while, although he had apparently acknowledged the request, since he began to chop various ingredients with a rather large knife.  
  
"Have a seat," Yami said, gesturing to the small kitchen table. Yuugi did so, Yami plopping into the seat beside him.  
  
"A-are you sure he should have a knife that big?" Yuugi asked, put rather ill at ease by the Gigantic Butcher Knife of Doom.  
  
"Oh, he's fine. He's a little cuckoo and everything-he thinks that I'm an ancient Egyptian Pharaoh and he's a famous tomb robber-but he's a good cook when he doesn't get mad at the oven and try to put curses on it. So around here, we just condone his eccentric ways and enjoy the food." Yuugi, however, was not totally convinced, seeing as how Bakura was trying to light the stove with a blow torch, even though it was electric. ("LIGHT, YOU RA-FORSAKEN MACHINE!")  
  
Halfway through Bakura's cooking, the phone rang. Yami waited until about the fifth ring to pick it up, seeing as it was usually Anzu who answered the phone, and said the traditional greeting (Moshi moshi) into the mouthpiece.  
  
"Oh, hello, Yami," came the warm voice on the other end.  
  
"Ah, hello, Ryou. How're you?"  
  
"I'm good, thanks. Is Bakura-ah, I hear him now. What is he saying about the fresh California avocados?"  
  
Yami cast a glance at Bakura (whose hair was on fire). "Trust me, you don't want to know."  
  
"So I take it he's busy?"  
  
Yami thought otherwise, seeing as how whatever he had been cooking was caked along the inside of the oven and little pieces of the pan were flying through the room. "Nah, I think he's free to talk to you now." He passed the phone to Bakura, who was trying to get the self-cleaning function to work while the door of the oven was still open.  
  
"For you. It's Ryou."  
  
"Ryou? Yay! Oh, hello, Ryou! Guess what? My cooking just blew up in the oven!" Bakura was silent, apparently listening to whatever Ryou was saying. "Oh, of course you can come over for dinner later. Pharaoh won't MIND," he cast a dark glance at Yami before continuing, "And I'm sure I'll have the oven fixed by then." More silence. "Oh, I'm sure. Right, five o'clock. I'll see you then, aibou!" He hung up the phone, little hearts dancing in his eyes.  
  
Yami, meanwhile, stared around the disaster that had once been a kitchen. "Oh well," he said, sighing. "I'll make sandwiches." 


	2. The Lovely Ryou

Chapter Two: The Lovely Ryou  
  
It was already five P.M., meaning that Bakura was a little busy at the moment. The hearts dancing in his eyes previously were back with a new ferocity, hyperly bouncing about.  
  
"Bakura, quit staring," Ryou said in his sugar-coated voice, blushing. (Gee, and I didn't think albinos had pigment.hmm.)  
  
"But, my lovely Ryou, I cannot help but stare.your beauty has captured the eyes of everyone, including the potatoes.and Yami's young catamite!" Bakura growled at Yuugi, who 'eeped' and ran to Yami.  
  
"Oh, Bakura.did you, by chance, forget to take your medicine today?"  
  
"What medicine?" Bakura asked, a little too innocently.  
  
*~*  
  
Yami, meanwhile, was looking through the phone book. He'd decided to order a pizza, as the self-cleaning oven didn't seem to have the capacity to clean itself, and Bakura was.well, we discussed that already! He was just finished punching in the number to the Pizza Hut, when the person said hello and put him on hold.for half an hour.  
  
He hung up, and dialed the Domino's number. After about seven rings, the computerized voice of the operator informed him that the number wasn't in service. So, eventually, he was down to only one pizzeria, and that pizzeria just happened to be.Uncle Ingrid's Pizza Palace. He could've yelled with relief when someone answered, but he decided to restrain himself.  
  
"Hello. You've reached Uncle Ingrid's Pizza Palace, Uncle Ingrid Jr. speaking. What would you like to order today?" The teenage boy's voice sounded rather bored.  
  
"Erm.two pepperoni pizzas."  
  
"Two pepperoni?" There was a pause, as if the boy was writing the order down. "And how would you like those cooked?"  
  
Yami sweat-dropped. He didn't think there was more than one way to cook pizza. "Er.done?  
  
"Of course. Now, is this delivery to a home, business, or apartment?"  
  
*~*  
  
Uncle Ingrid Jr. dropped the two boxes of charred pizza into his passenger seat, carefully buckling it in. After all, safety first! And then he got in the driver's seat and started his 1960's Ford something-or-other- that's-really-old.  
  
*~*  
  
By the time the pizza got there, Bakura was whining about being hungry, Ryou's stomach was growling (though he wouldn't say anything), Anzu was still angry, Yugi was getting sleepy from lack of sustenance, and Yami was contemplating hitting Bakura with a frying pan. However, all these activities were interrupted when the doorbell rang. Bakura raced to open the door.  
  
Unfortunately, it wasn't the pizza man. It was a Jehovah's Witness, carrying a mountain of pamphlets. "Hello."  
  
"Are those edible?" Bakura asked quickly, narrowing his eyes at the black-appareled man. He didn't wait for an answer grabbing the papers and chewing on them. Mr. Witness stepped in the house and made himself comfortable on the sofa. Yami twitched. And Bakura searched his pockets for more papers.  
  
Again, the next ring at the bell was not the pizza man, but Bakura raced to the door anyway. Outside was a purple dinosaur with a green gut. It smiled, hugged Bakura, and said, "I looove you!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME!"  
  
Mr. Witness, probably grateful to Bakura for relieving him of all the heavy pamphlets, tried casting the demon out of the dinosaur.but only ended up turning it into a massive group hug. After a few minutes of listening to Yuugi and Ryou giggle, Yami felt he had to intervine. He was going to attack the purple dinosaur, but it swatted him away with its giant purple tail. Yami landed on his butt. (That sentence.ah!)  
  
Anzu, apparently having heard the commotion, appeared at the bottom of the stairs. She began cackling loudly at the sight of Yami, Bakura, Mr. Witness, and the dinosaur hugging (Yami had been dragged in after getting up). As if in slow motion, the dino looked up at her.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The dino screamed like a little girl, dropped the three struggling guys, and ran out the door and into the arms of Malik Ishtar.  
  
"Save me, save me from that scary woman," the man inside the dinosaur babbled.  
  
"It'll be O.K., Marik. Here, have an ice cream to cheer you up."  
  
Marik the dinosaur and Malik the ice cream man, arm in arm, strolled through the city park.  
  
"But that white-haired guy /was/ hot." Marik the dinosaur said thoughtfully.  
  
Malik hit him with a Fudgesicle.  
  
*~*  
  
"Bakura, are you all right?" Ryou asked, fussing over his love.  
  
"Oh, I'm fine, koibito! It was only a flesh wound!" Bakura seemed to be enjoying the attention.  
  
Yuugi was helping Yami off the floor. "Thank you, Yuugi." Yuugi had hardly noticed that they were still holding hands, even though there was no longer an excuse. Then he looked down at their hands. Yuugi blushed.  
  
Meanwhile, Mr. Witness was running up the stairs. "Anzu! Anzu, my looove!"  
  
Anzu looked puzzled for a few minutes, even though the man was hugging her. "Otogi?"  
  
"Yes! It is I, your beloved Otogi! I have come back!"  
  
Bakura said, rather loudly, "Eww, he's hugging Anzu." Then, for the third time, the bell rang. "That better be the pizza!"  
  
The door opened, and low and behold! Uncle Ingrid Jr. was standing there, laden with two pizza boxes. "YESSSSSSSSH! MIIIIIINE! MY PRECIOUS PIZZA!" Bakura grabbed the pizzas and ran into the kitchen with them.  
  
Yami sweat-dropped, handed Uncle Ingrid the money, and chased after Bakura. Ingrid was left outside, the door wide open, looking mildly surprised. Otogi let go of Anzu, deciding he wanted pizza, too, but when he was right outside the kitchen door, it swung open. He was knocked out cold, but Bakura barely heeded him; he jumped over him, holding the pizzas high above his head.  
  
Bakura tossed a pizza to Ryou, and then began devouring the other box.of what might have been pizza about 1000 degrees ago. It was so charred that he nearly broke a couple teeth, but he ate it anyway. Ryou opened his slightly less done pizza and shared with Yuugi. Yami was preoccupied with being 'blah', since he had tripped over Otogi on the quest for burnt pizza.  
  
So, eventually, Bakura ate all of his pizza by himself, and Ryou and Yuugi shared with everyone except Anzu, who had gone to flirt with Uncle Ingrid Jr. Ingrid looked rather clueless and asked if she needed more breadsticks. When she declined, he headed back to his car and drove off. Anzu 'hmph'ed and went back to her room, slamming the door.  
  
Everyone gave her back a nice golf clap.  
  
"Yamiiiiiiiiii!" Otogi squealed.  
  
Yami backed away slowly, seeing the scary glint in Otogi's eyes. He said 'Eep!' when he finally hit the wall.  
  
"Can I have that piece of piiiiiiiiizza?"  
  
"TAKE IT! TAKE IT AND LEAVE!"  
  
Otogi gladly accepted the piece of pizza in Yami's shaking hands. "Oh, but Yami, I can't leave! I must be with my looooooove forever!"  
  
"Go find Anzu, then! And.get away from me! Haven't you ever heard of personal space?!" Yami squeaked.  
  
"Oh, Anzu isn't my looooove anymore! You are my looooove now!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
"Should we save him?" Yuugi asked of Ryou, who was munching on his slice of pizza while Bakura made puppy dog eyes at him.  
  
"Hmm.let's just see what happens."  
  
"RYOU, GIVE ME SOME PIZZA ALREADY!"  
  
AN: Mou! I'm sorry it took so long. but at least you got to meet Otogi, Malik, and Marik! Oh, and a note: the yami side will be called 'Marik', and the hikari 'Malik'.not that there's that much difference anyway. They're both craaaazy.  
  
Next chapter: We meet Seto and Mokuba! And maybe even Jounouchi Katsuya! Or Honda! Vroom, vroom!  
  
Please review, now that you've read this piece of crap! ( 


	3. Marik is a dinosaur, from our imaTHWACK

AN: Hello all, and welcome back to the wonderful world of Potholes! Yes.erm. This chapter contains such concepts as: ice cream man Malik, teddy bears, and pretty flowers.  
  
Chapter Three: Marik is a dinosaur from our ima--*THWACK* @.@  
  
One day, Yuugi and Ryou decided that they wanted to go to the park. Bakura decided to go with them, to "Protect his lovely Ryou from vicious, aibou-stealing stalkers", Yami went along to protect normal society from Bakura, and Anzu fumed and had PMS-y moments while watching soap operas and eating chocolate bon-bons.  
  
So, Yuugi and Ryou walked side-by-side in the park, Bakura hanging on Ryou's arm while shooting suspicious glares at groups of old people feeding pigeons. Yami sweat-dropped and pretended he didn't know any of them. So, after passing quite a few benches, trash cans, and suspected 'vicious, aibou-stealing stalkers', Yuugi finally came upon something special.  
  
"Look! Swings!" Yuugi giggled happily, running toward the swings. "C'mon Ryou, let's swing!"  
  
"Er.O.K.," he said in his sugary-sweet voice, and followed Yuugi.  
  
"No, Ryou! Don't go near that thing!"  
  
Ryou, who had just plopped down on the swing, looked curiously at the white-haired thing trying to pry him off the swing.  
  
"Noooo, Ryou! The swing will try to rape youuuuuuuu!"  
  
"Oh, Bakura, don't you know that as long as you're with me, not even a toaster oven would try to steal my innocence?"  
  
"Do you mean that?" Bakura asked, eyes shining.  
  
"Of course I do!" Ryou smiled brightly. "So, why don't you come sit in the swing beside me?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please? Onegai?"  
  
"Fine." Bakura plopped down in the swing, glaring at all the children carrying Marik-the-Dinosaur dolls who pointed at him and laughed. Harder to deal with was Yami, who was pushing Yuugi in his swing and having fits of hilarity.  
  
"STOP LAUGHING OR I'LL STAB YOU!"  
  
Everything suddenly got much quieter. The crickets chirped, despite the fact that it was noon, just to spite Baku-baku-chan. Then a swing creaked. Bakura glared at the little boy who had taken the swing beside him. Luckily for the poor little boy, he didn't notice; he was too preoccupied with feeling sad and alone inside, like an artichoke in the snow, to pay any attention to a card-carrying member of Dr. Phil's Support Group for the Mentally Challenged.  
  
"Why won't big brother buy me a Malik-the-Dinosaur doll?" He pouted. "I'd even settle for a teddy bear! But no, Kaibas aren't supposed to have stuffed animals! All he ever buys me for Christmas are pocket calculators and Blue-eyes boxers!"  
  
Yuugi got up from his swing and went over to the boy, who was now having a nervous breakdown, and put an arm around his shoulders.  
  
"Kaiba, is he? The Kaiba from Kaibacorp?" Yami mused.  
  
"Kaibacorp?" Yuugi asked, utterly confused.  
  
"Yes. Kaibacorp is the main rival of Sennen Enterprises in the chip business."  
  
"And what was that Sennen thingy again?"  
  
"That's my company!"  
  
"Oh.I remember that.I think."  
  
"MONKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"  
  
"No more caffeine for you, Bakura!"  
  
Yuugi looked at Bakura strangely before turning back to the little boy, who was only about two inches shorter than him. "So, what's your name?"  
  
"M-mokuba," he choked out, rubbing his eyes with his fists.  
  
"Well, Mokuba, how about we go get an ice cream, and then Yami here will buy you a stuffed animal?"  
  
"Erm.O.K.! But what if Seto-niisan doesn't want me to keep the stuffed animal?"  
  
"Bakura will sit on him until he lets you keep it!"  
  
"Hey!"  
  
*~*  
  
Malik, meanwhile, was running his ice cream cart in the park, while Marik (out-of-costume) was seducing his lover by eating an orange ice pop in a very suggestive way.  
  
"Quit it, Marik, you'll scare all my customers away! Mothers don't want their little children to see you doing that!" Malik called, glancing at Marik from over the buckets of ice cream.  
  
"Am I distracting you from your work?" Marik purred in his sultry voice.  
  
"No, of course not.YES! YES, YOU ARE DISTRACTING ME, AND IF YOU DON'T STOP, I'LL BE FORCED TO JUMP YOU!"  
  
Several concerned parents snatched their children away, despite the fact that they would've given up a week's worth of lunch money to see the show. Luckily for the Yuugi-tachi, Malik and Marik had moved behind the ice cream cart, and Bakura's 'poor virgin eyes' were spared the sight.  
  
"Hello! Is anyone here?" Yuugi asked, rapping his knuckles on the counter of the ice cream stand.  
  
"Kuso! It's a customer!" Malik, much to the protests of Marik, stood up, dusted himself off, and proceeded to take their orders. However, Marik made his indignation at being interrupted quite plain, by giving Malik quite a few 'distractions'.  
  
"What flavor ice cream do /you/ want, Mokuba?"  
  
"Hmm.strawberry!"  
  
"O.K.! So. two strawberries, a chocolate, and.Bakura?"  
  
"I'll share with my lovely Ryou."  
  
"And one vanilla!"  
  
Malik scooped the ice creams into the cones, trying to ignore the tuggings of Marik on his pants leg, although thinking about the ice creams didn't help, either. He lasted for quite a while, though, considering.  
  
"DON'T YOU DARE GO THERE, MARIK!"  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"Oh.erm. the voices in my head.they were saying bad things about the clam chowder in Tibet, so I just had to make them stop!" Malik yelled, sweat-dropping. Marik smirked. Malik stepped on him.  
  
"ITAI!" Marik finally stood up, indignant. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR, WOMAN!?"  
  
"Grr." Malik hit him with the ice cream scoop. "That'll be ~blah~ yen."  
  
Yami passed Malik the amount of ~blah~ yen, taking his chocolate ice cream from Yuugi. The five of them sat down on a picnic table a few feet away and began eating their ice creams. Marik finally recovered from his Malik-induced wounds (tee-hee, that can be taken in more than one bad way).  
  
"Look at them, sharing their vanilla ice cream like that! How come we never do that, Malik?"  
  
"We shared a vanilla ice cream last night, baka."  
  
"No, we didn-ohhhh. I didn't mean that kind!"  
  
"Suuuuure you didn't."  
  
Marik, once again, was hit with the ice cream scoop.  
  
*~*  
  
After eating the ice creams, everyone walked to the toy store, where Mokuba, Yuugi, and Ryou went 'oooh, aaaaah' at the wide array of over- priced, furry beanbags. Mokuba quickly selected a Marik-the-Dinosaur plushie from the shelf. Bakura, whistling, swiped something from the shelf and dropped it into his pocket. Yami rolled his eyes and took the dino from Mokuba, wrestled Bakura for the angel plushie he had been going to steal, and then after a little thought, picked up a Dark Magician plushie for Yuugi.  
  
He marched triumphantly to the counter and paid for the items with his credit card, then passed the plushies to their owners.  
  
Bakura looked as if he might bite Yami's hand as he gave back the angel, but then turned happily to Ryou and said, "See, aibou? An angel for my angel."  
  
"Oh, thank you, Bakura!" He gave Bakura a big hug, one that squeezed the life from Bakura.  
  
"Here, Mokuba! Don't you like your stuffed Marik doll?"  
  
There was an 'ahem' sound, so Yuugi turned around, to see Yami with his hands behind his back.  
  
"Oh, hello, Yami!"  
  
"Erm.Yuugi?"  
  
"Hai!"  
  
"Here you go!" He practically threw the Dark Magician at Yuugi, before turning around, more than a little embarassed.  
  
"You got me a stuffed.thing? Oh, thank you!" He and the Dark Magician hugged Yami around the middle, giggling happily. There was a coughing noise.  
  
"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting your moment, Yami, but-."  
  
"Kaiba!"  
  
"Seto-niisan!" Mokuba tackled Seto. "You won't believe what happened to me today! At first, I was all sad, because you wouldn't get me a teddy bear, but then Yami bought me ice cream! And a Marik doll!" Bakura, meanwhile, was growling at Seto and being possessive of Ryou.  
  
"That's.nice. Now would you please stop hugging me in public?" More growling.  
  
"Don't be so mean to him, Kaiba. He's your little brother."  
  
"You stay out of this, Yami." Seto seemed to have finally noticed the growling Bakura, and turned to him. "I see you brought your kitchen wench with you, Yami. Oh, hello, Ryou." He grinned (like the grin he had in the manga when he first appeared and it was all creepy and stuff) and shook hands with Ryou.  
  
"Oh, hello, Seto. Did you like the stationary I picked out for Kaibacorp's business letters?"  
  
"Oh, of course. I believe that pink bunnies with flowers are very professional."  
  
"Are you being sarcastic?"  
  
"Oh, of course not, my dear Ryou," Seto said, still smiling his creepy smile.  
  
"Hey! He's not your dear Ryou! He's my lovely Ryou! You'd better stay away from him, mister!"  
  
"How can I do that? He /is/ my secretary."  
  
"He may be /your/ secretary, but everything else belongs to me!"  
  
".for now. Are you coming, Mokuba?"  
  
"Oh, yes! Goodbye, all of you! Thanks, Yami, for being so nice to me! Maybe we'll see eachother again sometime!" He ran after his brother's trenchcoat-ness, clutching his Marik doll. "Wait up, Seto!"  
  
Seto stopped walking for a moment so his brother could catch up with him, turning around as he did so. "See you at the office tomorrow, Ryou!"  
  
Bakura growled and began threatening random passerby with his blowtorch.  
  
AN: Yay! This was.interesting, I guess. And perverted. But that's expected. And everybody hugged. Oh yes, and remember kids: crack kills!  
  
The power of the purple button compels youuuuuu! 


	4. The Great Pumpkin

Potholes in Tokyo  
  
Chapter Four - The Great Pumpkin  
  
It was in the middle of October; the leaves were turning beautiful shades of golden, red, and orange, the grass was beginning to stop growing, and Yuugi decided he wanted a pumpkin. Which, of course, meant he was going to get a pumpkin, due to the fact that Yami bought him anything he desired. The other day, while watching cartoons (at Yuugi's request), the young boy had made an offhand remark about one of the things in a commercial. The next day, Yuugi awoke to find this object sitting at the foot of his bed.  
  
So, Yami, of course, took a day off from work and took Yuugi to the biggest pumpkin farm in Japan. Bakura hadn't come because Ryou couldn't come, and he didn't want to be away from the phone in case Ryou called, in need of help. He was just paranoid like that. Anzu had finally gotten over her terrible PMS, and had become her normal happy self again.  
  
"Ohh, Yuugi, I'm so sorry I was mean to you this past week-I was just a little on edge. But I hope we can still be best friends! Here, let me draw part of a smiley face on your hand!" She reached into the backseat with her Evil Marker of DEATH and DOOM, not paying any attention to the road.  
  
"PAY ATTENTION TO WHERE YOU'RE GOING, WOMAN!" Yami, and quite a few people in neighboring cars screeched.  
  
"Don't yell at me, Yami! You're being so inconsiderate! I just want to be Yuugi's friend and make up for how mean I was earlier!"  
  
"THEN DO IT WHILE YOU'RE not DRIVING!"  
  
Anzu was angry at Yami for the rest of the ride.  
  
When they finally reached the pumpkin farm, Anzu nearly ran into an SUV before stomping out of the car, Evil Marker of DEATH and DOOM in hand. She was apparently looking for new cult members.  
  
Yami decided it was best to ignore her, and hopped out of the car, Yuugi following closely behind. Yuugi became completely in awe at the many pumpkins before him; there must have been thousands! There were pumpkins the size of his fists, pumpkins bigger than him, and ones in between, too.  
  
"Wow."  
  
"Those are some mighty big pumpkins, aren't they?"  
  
"Eh?" Yuugi looked upward, trying to find the source of this unfamiliar voice. He found a man in his early twenties, with blonde hair and honey-colored eyes. "Oh, hello. Erm.my name's Yuugi; nice to meet you."  
  
"Jounouchi Katsuya. I guess it's O.K. meeting you."  
  
Yami bristled. Like a cactus.  
  
"Could you recommend a pumpkin? It's my first time getting a pumpkin, so I have no idea what kind to get."  
  
"I can help you there, kid. I've been around pumpkins all my life; I've gotten quite tired of hearing about them, actually. My Great-Grandpa started this pumpkin farm when he was a young man, and the whole family's been obsessed with selling pumpkins ever since. So, what do you plan on doing with this pumpkin?"  
  
"Carve it, I guess."  
  
"Then you should try one of these orange ones, probably medium-sized unless you want to be cleaning out the seeds all day."  
  
"Hey Yami, what do you think of this one?" Yuugi called. Yami stopped growling at Jounouchi for a moment to trudge up to Yuugi and look at the pumpkin he was referring to.  
  
"It's lovely, Yuugi."  
  
"So, can we get this one?"  
  
"Of course, Yuugi," Yami said, glaring at Jounouchi.  
  
"Umm.you do know I was kidding earlier, right? I wasn't trying to be mean to your little brother or anything."  
  
"He's not my brother, he's my catamite!"  
  
Jounouchi began gagging, then stopped breathing, and eventually had to be given CPR by his cousin (who also worked at the pumpkin farm), Honda. Honda was not too happy about that, and neither was Jounouchi. Yuugi was rather confused, wondering why Jounouchi had been choking, since he hadn't been eating anything.  
  
After a while, Honda called emergency services, to make sure the pumpkin farmer was O.K. Jounouchi's girlfriend, Kujaku Mai, stood beside the paramedics, laughing (with much humor) at her boyfriend.  
  
Yami paid Honda for the pumpkin, located Anzu (who was flirting with one of the hayride tractor drivers), and got out of there just at the ambulance was speeding off. He didn't feel guilty for causing all that. The bakayaro pumpkin man shouldn't have insulted HIS Yuugi.  
  
Wait a second.His Yuugi?  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"  
  
"Yami, are you O.K.?" Yuugi asked from the seat beside him, arms wrapped around an orange pumpkin.  
  
The businessman took a few deep, calming breaths. "Hai."  
  
*~*  
  
When they got home, Yuugi borrowed Anzu's infamous Marker and began sketching the design for his jack-o'lantern. It turned out to be a seal chasing a lobster. Yami, after calming down by having four cups of green tea and smoking a pack of imaginary cigarettes, began removing the pumpkin guts and carving along the lines Yuugi had drawn for him. The end result was a strange-looking pumpkin, seeing as Yami was high on tea and imaginary nicotine, but Yuugi gave him a huge hug anyway and stuck a light bulb in the pumpkin.  
  
"Now, how is it supposed to light up again?"  
  
Yami sighed. "You're supposed to put a candle in there, not a light bulb."  
  
"But.why?"  
  
"It's.just a tradition, I guess. I've never thought about using a light bulb before. we always used a candle when I was a little boy. But I guess it doesn't matter."  
  
"Yami, are you sad?"  
  
"Nani? What makes you think that?"  
  
"You just seem.different from how you normally are. did I say something wrong, do something that upset you?"  
  
"Oh, Yuugi, you could never upset me. You should know that."  
  
"But, Yami-."  
  
"Didn't you hear me?" Yami asked, giving him a small smile. "You're too sweet to be able to upset anyone. except maybe Bakura, but he's a psycho."  
  
Yuugi laughed a little at this.  
  
"HOW COULD YOU?!" Came the roar from the kitchen. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, DOING THAT?!"  
  
"What's he yelling about now?" Yami asked, annoyed. He crept to the kitchen door, peering in. Bakura was holding the phone in his trembling hand, yelling and screeching into the receiver.  
  
"I can't believe you, Ryou." Yami watched, unbelieving, as a tear slid down Bakura's cheek. Yami closed the door quietly, returning to his chair beside Yuugi.  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Yuugi asked, concerned.  
  
Yami didn't have to answer. "GOING ON A DATE WITH KAIBA? Oh, 'Not a date,' is it? THEN WHAT THE HELL ELSE WOULD IT BE?"  
  
"A date with Kaiba?"  
  
Bakura stormed out of the kitchen, slamming the phone down on the cradle. Then, he ran to his room and slammed it shut.  
  
Yami and Yuugi just sat there, too shocked to say anything.  
  
The phone rang.  
  
And no one bothered to answer it.  
  
AN: Oh my, do I sense the faintest whisperings of a plot trying to break through? How terrible! Actually, I have finally thought up a plot.which means there are at least two chapters left. Poor Baku and Ryou. But I think I have a happy ending for everybody. Yaysies! That and I updated. Blehhh.  
  
10/18/03 


	5. Napkin Holders A title that has nothing ...

Potholes in Tokyo  
  
This chapter dedicated to the wonderful author and reviewer, Ryuujitsu! Details at the bottom.  
  
Chapter Five - Napkin Holders  
  
It was three days later, and Yami had just received a call on his cell phone. He pulled it out of his pocket, pushed the TALK button, and said, "Moshi moshi."  
  
"Yami."  
  
"Ryou? What are you doing, calling me?"  
  
"I need your help, Yami."  
  
"With Bakura.?"  
  
"I guess you heard, then."  
  
"Just bits and pieces. Bakura's practically been locked in his room ever since that call."  
  
"Yes, he.he hung up on me."  
  
"I heard something about a date with Seto Kaiba?"  
  
Ryou sighed. "It's not a date; he's having a business meeting with some conglomerates at a restaurant and he asked me to come. He said I'd get paid for it, so I agreed. And now Bakura won't talk to me."  
  
"Why does Seto want you to be there in the first place?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know! I doesn't really matter, does it!?"  
  
Yami could tell that Ryou was trying to yell, but not succeeding because he probably hadn't ever raised his voice before. "Are you all right, Ryou?"  
  
"I'm so sorry, Yami.I didn't mean to snap at you.I'm just."  
  
"Look, I don't care if you snap at me or not; you're allowed to feel anger sometimes, and I'd say now is a good time."  
  
"Oh, but what am I supposed to do? I mean.I love Bakura! I can't stand not being in contact with him! He usually calls me every night, and he hasn't even talked to me since then!..." Sobbing. "I just.I feel so lost."  
  
"Maybe you should get Kaiba to talk to him about it? After all, Kaiba obviously favors you; he'd probably do you a favor just this once."  
  
"But what if Bakura tried to beat him up? I mean.Bakura's never liked him before, and now he must hate him."  
  
"Hmmm." Yami considered all of this. "Which restaurant are you going to?"  
  
*~*  
  
"C'mon, Bakura.you need to get out and do something before things start growing on you," Yami said through the closed door of the cook's room.  
  
"What's the point?"  
  
"It's very unattractive to have algae on you?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"I DEMAND THAT YOU COME OUT OF THERE AT ONCE!"  
  
"Who says so?"  
  
Yami thought for a moment. "THE PHAROAH!"  
  
"Who cares about him? I never listened to him before; why start now?"  
  
Yami, at this point became angry at his cook. He decided to kick the door down, using his punky sexy boots. Door successfully torn off its hinges, a puzzled Yami stormed in the room. He hadn't thought that would actually work. But anyway. He grabbed Bakura's arm and began dragging him down the stairs.  
  
Seeing that Bakura was moving to bite his hand off, Yami decided to give him a warning: "You do that and I'll send my armies after you! And I have a lot of armies!"  
  
AN: Insert corny joke:  
  
Q: Where does the king keep his armies?  
  
A: In his sleevies!  
  
AN: Back to the story.  
  
"ANZU!" Yami yelled.  
  
Anzu was still PO'd at Yami because of the Marker incident, but came down the stairs to see him anyway. "What do you want?" She asked angrily, hands on hips.  
  
"DRIVE ME SOMEWHERE!"  
  
"Do it yourself, bakayaro!" She stomped back to her room to continue making sexually explicit phone calls to Uncle Ingrid, Jr. (AKA sexy pizza man from Chapter Two).  
  
"Hmph. That did not go well. Yuugi!"  
  
"Hello, Yami," he said, not looking up from his coloring book.  
  
"Yuugi, get dressed!"  
  
"But I am dressed! Do I look naked to you?"  
  
"Ahem." Yami sweat-dropped. "We are going out to eat. We are taking Bakura with us. I doubt one would go out wearing Dark Magician pajamas. Unless you would like to, and then it would be you going out wearing Dark Magician pajamas."  
  
Yuugi looked puzzled for a second before saying, "O.K., I'll go change!"  
  
To pass the time, Yami dragged Bakura into the limo and locked him in. He was glad he'd had child safety locks installed, or Bakura would've been able to escape. But alas for Baku, for not even the mightiest tomb robber could stand up to child safety locks!  
  
Yami practiced various, "Mwahahah!" laughs, staring in at his captive. Bakura made faces at him through the window, and also graced him with a few very creative obscene hand gestures.  
  
"Yamiiiii!"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Ta-da!" Yuugi was wearing a suit that made him look like a sexy mini- butler. He was wearing a Dark Magician tie.  
  
"Schnazzy," Bakura muttered dully, in an imitation of the snuffalufagus-looking shower from the Flintstones movie.  
  
"Where are we going, Yamiiii?" Yuugi asked as he climbed into the front seat. Yami was too busy scooting his chair forward to answer at the moment.  
  
When he was finally able to reach the pedals, he turned to Yuugi and said, (BUM BUM BUM!) "A restaurant."  
  
"Oh. How very descriptive."  
  
*~*  
  
The restaurant was very fancy. It was, in fact, so fancy that the menus did not have prices in them, for fear that the patrons might die of heart attack upon seeing the amount of yen a fish egg costs. Yami, being a VIP, was able to get a seat near where Ryou had said they'd be sitting. Yami pushed Bakura into a seat where he would be able to see Ryou and Kaiba when they finally arrived, with the rest of the businesspeople.  
  
When they ordered drinks, Yuugi asked for a Coke (that is Coca-Cola to those of you who are thinking of illegal drugs instead of a sugary soft drink), Yami requested hot tea, and Bakura demanded a mix of many things containing alcohol while threatening the waitresses that he would stab them all with his spoon (unfortunately not rusty and wooden) if they did not stop giggling about the 'interesting threesome at table eight'.  
  
Bakura was sufficiently drunk by the time Ryou (along with many others who have no significance to the story) entered, so that Baku did not recognize him right off. The Ryou /Seto / businesspeople party seated themselves at a table behind Yami, so that Bakura had plenty of time to recognize his love if he became slightly more lucid within the next two hours.  
  
Bakura slumped over the table, clutching his gargantuan glass of liquor, sake, marguerite, daiquiri, and cheap American lite beer. (LOOKIE, I spelled daiquiri correctly! Go me!). He was giggling quite loudly, disturbing and perturbing many of the snobby patrons around him.  
  
"Tee-hee, yami! Lookies at that thingy on that wall! It's feeshies!"  
  
Yami coughed. Yuugi wondered what had happened to Bakura to make him act like a four-year old on pixie stix.  
  
"Hey, Yami's catamite, do you smell that.? It smells like.honeysuckles.that scent seems really familiar!" He giggled delightedly, slipping out of his seat and onto the floor. Yami peered under the tablecloth, to see Bakura passed out on the floor. Oh well.  
  
Yami and Yuugi continued to eat their meals in peace, ignoring the albino with a hangover who was resting at their feet. Yami was just finishing his dish with chicken in it (use your imagination) when he suddenly went, "YEAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" (Don't use your imagination).  
  
The table tipped over, sending drinks and plates sliding to the floor. Bakura, oblivious to this, yelled, "I KNOW WHAT THAT SCENT IS! IT'S MY RYOU!"  
  
His eyes, although a bit unfocused, rose to met those of his love.  
  
"R-Ryou?" He asked.  
  
AN: Mwahahaha! Well, you have Ryuujitsu to thank for this, since she cursed at me and made various threats upon my life that scared me quite a bit and forced me to sit down and write this chapter without waiting the customary two months, as I usually do. That and I was inspired. Hm. And this story was supposed to be a Yami/Yuugi. Oh well, I suppose it still is. Please review! Clickie clickie! 


	6. I Don't Know, Why Don't You Tell Me?

Potholes in Tokyo  
  
Chapter Six  
  
I present to you: a recap of chapter five! Bakura got drunk at a restaurant, found Ryou at the restaurant, and.yeah. That's basically what happened.  
  
And now onto chapter six!  
  
"Ryou."  
  
"Bakura."  
  
"Ryou."  
  
"Bakura."  
  
"Ryou."  
  
"Can we please stop this?"  
  
"Butt out, Priest." Bakura glared at the CEO, then turned to Ryou. "Ryou, my love, I've missed you so!" He ran (AKA stumbled, seeing as he's drunk) up and hugged Ryou.  
  
"Oh, how heartwarming."  
  
"Didn't I tell you to keep out of this?!" He rounded on Kaiba, decidedly PO'd. Of course he'd be a mean drunk. I mean, why not?  
  
He rushed forward, ignoring Ryou's yells of, "No, Bakura!" and proceeded to pummel the former Egyptian priest. Or, at least he tried to, but his fist was met with a metal briefcase.  
  
"Itaiiiiiiiiiii!" He yelled, clutching his fist. "You're gonna pay for that, Set."  
  
"Name your price."  
  
Ryou went 'Eep' and decided to separate them before anyone was maimed, killed, or otherwise given a big owie. "Don't, Bakura! It's not worth your time. He just wishes he was as strong as you."  
  
A businessman beside Kaiba muttered, "How would you know?", but luckily for him, only the waitresses previously giggling about the threesome at table eight could hear him. The waitresses erupted into giggles again.  
  
"Ryou, my darling.?" Bakura asked, finally calmed down enough so that the urge to trounce a brunette with blue eyes had dissipated for the most part.  
  
"Yes, Bakura?"  
  
"I think my hand is broken!" He whimpered.  
  
Yami and Yuugi, who had been silent through all this, led Bakura out to the car, Yami paying the bill on the way out. He made it a point to leave a generous tip.  
  
Ryou turned to Seto. The CEO stared down at him with icy blue eyes. "Oh, go on and take him to the hospital. I can handle this myself."  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
"Of course I am. Now, go. Before I start feeling less charitable."  
  
" 'Bye, Seto," Ryou called, before running out to meet his friends and love in the limo.  
  
Yami and Yuugi piled into the front, while Ryou helped Bakura into his seat. He then sat down next to him, reminding Bakura to buckle up (safety first!).  
  
"So, erm.Ryou?" Ryou looked over at him, to let him know that he was listening. "You really weren't going out with the Priest, were you?"  
  
"Of course not, silly. Our relationship is strictly platonic now."  
  
"And what was it before?" A random perverted person asked, after seeing the list of synonyms for 'platonic'.  
  
"So you haven't decided to go out with him again, or anything?"  
  
Ryou, feeling he had already answered this question, replied, "No."  
  
"I love you, Ryou!" Bakura yelled, hugging him.  
  
"Aaaaaakkkkkkkkkk."  
  
*~*  
  
Jounouchi Katsuya was confined to a hospital bed. Earlier that week, he had nearly died of choking. He didn't like being stuck anywhere. It made him feel like he had cabin fever. He probably did. Honda and Mai had stopped by earlier to laugh at him and cheer him up, but they had left to go eat lunch in the hospital cafeteria.  
  
The blonde growled and flipped through the channels on his TV. Soap opera, commercial, telethon.nothing. SPONGEBOB!  
  
"Ohhhhhhhhhhh, who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! Absorbent and yellow and porous is he, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" Jounouchi sang along until the old man in the bed across from him threw a pair of dentures at him. He quickly decided to stop singing, making rude gestures at the old man's back.  
  
*~*  
  
"NO, RYOU! DON'T LET THEM TAKE MEEEEEEEEEE!" Bakura yelled as the nurse wheeled him into the hospital.  
  
"You'll be fine! Just don't scream too loud; you might disturb the other patients!" he yelled, grinning brightly.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
Yuugi and Yami gasped. "You're so mean, Ryou," Yami teased.  
  
"He deserves it. He doubted me. It broke my heart!"  
  
"Hmm." Yuugi said, as if he understood anything that had just occurred. "Let's go to the waiting room, then!" He began to lead the way to the maternity ward.  
  
Yami sweat-dropped. "Erm.I think it might be this way."  
  
*~*  
  
Ryuuji Otogi, who had no idea how or why he was in the hospital, was annoyed when an innocent vending machine would not recognize his dice earrings as currency. He viciously kicked the machine, but only succeeded in hurting his leg.  
  
Yami, who had been observing all this in revered silence (psychos are, after all, sacred. aren't they?), guessed what was about to happen and quickly covered Yuugi's ears.  
  
"KUSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Otogi began hopping, but didn't yell anymore, so Yuugi was able to hear again.  
  
"What was that for, Yami?" Yuugi asked, utterly puzzled.  
  
"I.I needed some earwax. I was all out," Yami said with a straight face.  
  
"Oh. Well, you could have just asked!" Yuugi said brightly. "I have plenty of earwax to spare!  
  
Otogi walked over to them, finally fed up with trying to purchase fat- filled, greasy potato chips with cubes used in Yahtzee. "Can I have some money? I will pay you back."  
  
"Just don't curse anymore. Cursing is baaaaaaad," Yami said as he threw an unimportant amount of yen at the dice boy on mind-altering drugs.  
  
After about half an hour, a nurse (whose name was Aunt George; she was, coincidentally, sister to Uncle Ingrid. But that's not really that important, is it?) informed them that Bakura would be able to receive a visitor. It was, of course, Ryou who went to visit his koibito, while Yami and Yuugi continued to watch Otogi as he bought strange items from the vending machines.  
  
"Giiiiiiiive me the chiiiiiiiiiiiiiipssssssssssss." A small pack of potato chips flew down the chute-thingy in the vending machine, out the flap, and hit Otogi on the forehead. He fell backward, taking the chips with him. "My precioussssssssss."  
  
"Ahem." Yami selected a random magazine from the table beside his seat, staring it without really seeing it; he just couldn't ignore Otogi as he proclaimed his love to the chip bag, AKA his 'precioussssssssssssssss'. As stated before, Otogi is on mind-altering drugs. Drugs are baaaaaaaaaaad. As the family says, 'crack kills!'.  
  
Yuugi, meanwhile, had immersed himself in a 'What's Wrong With This Picture?' thing from a magazine I can't currently remember the name of, and had just discovered that the clown on the left had a bigger nose than the one on the right.  
  
Otogi, who had been opening the chip bag, somehow managed to make it explode in his face.  
  
"It's raining chips, hallelujah, it's raining chips!" Otogi sang, doing a little jig as the chips drifted down upon him. Yami smartly decided to take Yuugi and get away from the ex-Jehovah's Witness, and fast. His obsession with chips was O.K., but singing and dancing to 80's(?) music wasn't.  
  
Yami and Yuugi found another waiting room (it was, luckily, unoccupied and therefore devoid of other people on mind-altering drugs who sang and danced to 80's music), guessing on good faith that Ryou and Bakura would be able to find them later.  
  
"Yami, I'm sleeeeeeepy," Yuugi said, having finally finished his 'What's Wrong With This Picture?', and having finally realized that it was 10:30 P.M., and far past his usual bedtime.  
  
"Go to sleep, then."  
  
"O.K.!" Yuugi cried happily, and proceeded to use Yami as a pillow, curling against the other's side. " 'Night!"  
  
" 'Night," Yami said, sighing as he stroked Yugi's hair.  
  
*~*  
  
"Ryouuuuuuuuuu, how could you let them take meeeeeeeee?" Bakura whined. His fist was bandaged, but other than that, he seemed to be all right.  
  
"I'm sorry, Baku-chan, but doesn't your hand feel better now?"  
  
"It's O.K., I guess.but it would be even better if you kissed it!"  
  
The ever demure Ryou blushed hot pink, before raising Bakura's hand to his lips and kissing it.  
  
"Yaaaaaaaay!"  
  
"Bakura, did they give you any pain meds?" Ryou asked, concerned about his koi's strange behavior.  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"Definitely," Ryou muttered under his breath.  
  
"Sit with me, Ryou," Bakura said, patting an unoccupied piece of bedsheet.  
  
"Oh.erm.O.K."  
  
Bakura grinned happily. "Guess what, Ryou?! They gave me hospital food! It tasted funny. I think I saw the noodles move.it was creepy."  
  
"Gomen; I should have been there to save you from the moving noodles."  
  
"It is all right, Ryou; I forgive you!"  
  
"Of course you do! But the next time you find yourself cornered by living noodles, call my name and I'll be there to hold your hand!"  
  
"Thank you, Ryou!" Bakura yelled, and began hugging him. "But you know what? There's this strange lump in my pocket. Could you help me?"  
  
"H-help you?" Ryou gulped.  
  
"Yeah, it's right there, but I can't reach my pocket!"  
  
Ryou blinked, but decided to help anyway, seeing as Bakura seemed high on pain meds anyway, and probably couldn't get to his pocket for some reason. When aforementioned strange lump was finally unearthed, it was revealed to be a small velvet box.  
  
"I wonder how that got in there.?" Bakura said, sounding puzzled, although he knew exactly what was in the box. "Why don't you open it?"  
  
Ryou eased open the delicate lid, and gasped.  
  
"Ryou, my koibito.will you marry me?"  
  
AN: Muhahahahahah! You probably guessed that was a marriage proposal. And if you didn't. I don't know what we'll do with you. Keep you, I guess. All we can do.  
  
Spongebob does not belong to me. He belongs to someone other than me.  
  
The magazine I can't remember the name of does not belong to me, either, though I did have a subscription of it when I was like seven. Muhahah!  
  
So, please read and review! 


	7. FINAL

Chapter Seven F-I-N-A-L  
  
Ryou sat at his desk on Tuesday morning, wearing his sexy reading glasses and tapping away at his laptop. He was humming a happy tune and a bright smile suffused his lips.  
  
"Are you high?" Mokuba asked as he stepped out of the elevator, accompanied by two bodyguards.  
  
"Ohayo, Mokuba! How was your weekend?"  
  
The little child proceeded to back away slowly. "It.it was wonderful." He said, before running to the door to his brother's office and banging on it.  
  
"SETO, LET ME IN! RYOU'S ACTING CREEEEEEEEPY!"  
  
The gleaming steel doors slid open, to reveal a tired-looking CEO. "What is it, Mokuba?"  
  
"Nii-san, Ryou's scaring me.he's all cheerful and stuff."  
  
"He always acts like that."  
  
"More so than normal! It scaaaaares meeeeeeee." He latched onto his brother's waist and wouldn't let go.  
  
"So, why are you so happy, Ryou?" Seto asked, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He had apparently been working all night and was sleep deprived.  
  
"Bakura proposed!"  
  
"And I suppose you said yes?"  
  
"No!"  
  
Seto, Mokuba, the body guards, some angry reviewers, and a potted plant fell over. Silence reigned for a few moments before aforementioned reviewers got angry and started chasing the author with blowtorches, rakes, and farm animals.  
  
"Of course I said yes, silly!" Ryou exclaimed. The potted plant righted itself, the humans stood up, and the reviewers stopped in mid-stab.  
  
"But Seto, I was wondering if you and Mokuba would like to come to the wedding."  
"Not really." Seto said. In the background, Mokuba screamed, "NOOOOOO!"  
  
"Yay! Arigato, Seto! You're so nice to me! Would you be my Maid of Honor? And can Mokuba be the flower girl?"  
  
Mokuba fainted. Seto pinched himself and wondered what he had done to deserve this. However, looking at Ryou's pleading pudding-like brown eyes, he couldn't say no.  
"Hn. Sure."  
  
"Tee-hee! You're so nice, Seto!" Ryou went and hugged him around the middle.  
  
Seto sighed. "I think I'll go take a nap now."  
  
He staggered back into his office, shutting the doors and leaving the unconscious Mokuba and the scared body guards to fend for themselves.  
  
*~*  
  
At noon, Ryou was visited by Bakura and the Yuugi-tachi. Bakura brought flowers and a Subway sandwich.  
  
"Ryou, my koi, I have brought you a low-fat sandwich advocated by Jared for lunch!"  
  
"Er.thanks, 'Kura," Ryou said, taking the sandwich from him.  
  
"Can't we share?"  
  
"Are you sure a six-inch is enough for you?"  
  
"Oh, I had a pizza on the way here. I ate it all by myself."  
  
Ryou cut the sandwich in two, handing one half to his koi and eating the other half himself.  
  
"So, did you ask Seto?" Yami asked.  
  
"Hai! He said yes!"  
  
Bakura growled. "Baka Set."  
  
"Don't be mean, Bakura. He's not that bad."  
  
"Who says?"  
  
"Hello, Kaiba," Yami greeted in an unfriendly.  
  
"Trying to steal my prototypes, are you, Mr. Mutoh?"  
  
"Why would I want your prototypes? They suck."  
  
"Ahem."  
  
Mokuba, who had finally awoken, exclaimed, "Yamiiiiiiiii! Yuuuuugi! Have you come to save me from the Ryou?"  
  
"Why didn't you bring the PMS lady? Sake, is that her name?"  
  
"I drove the limo. And her name is Anzuuuuuuuuuu." Yami explained.  
  
"But Yuugi had to sit in the back with me, so Yami wouldn't get over- excited and run into a telephone pole and kill us all."  
  
"I DO NOT GET OVER-EXCITED WHEN IN THE LIMO WITH YOUNG CHILDREN!"  
  
"Yami has a catamite, Yami has a catamite," Bakura taunted.  
  
"Well, you're getting married! You're not a bachelor anymore! You can't go golfing with Alvin and the Chipmunks anymore!"  
  
"Shhh! Don't tell Ryou about that!"  
  
*~*  
  
Meanwhile, Marik and Malik were doing what they did second-best-that is, hanging around at the park and scaring away all mothers of small children.  
  
" 'Kaasan, buy me an ice cream, onegai!" the little boy said, as he went past the ice cream stand.  
  
"Not here," the mother said, glaring at Malik, who was resting lazily on the stand. "I'll get you an ice cream when we go to the mall."  
  
"But I want one heeeeere!" he whined, slumping to the ground and pitching a fit. "Why do we have to get it at the malllllll?" he wailed.  
  
"Creepy people run this establishment!"  
  
"Well, I think the ice cream man is sexy."  
  
The mother fainted.  
  
Malik grinned and passed the kid an ice cream. "Thanks, kid. But you're not my type."  
  
Little boy didn't comment. His heart may have been broken, but Malik's ice cream made up for it. The kid looked over to the man in the dinosaur suit, who was staring at him with jealousy.  
  
"Oh, you give him free ice cream, but you don't give me any?"  
  
"You don't deserve any. You get plenty of ice cream already."  
  
"You suck."  
  
"DON'T MAKE FUN OF THE UKE!"  
  
*~*  
  
"My chips! My precious chiiiiiips!"  
  
"That guy has problems," Honda said, staring as the man with dice earrings huggled his chips.  
  
"Do you have any chiiiiiiips?" Otogi asked.  
  
"Erm.Mai, maybe we should find another waiting room," Honda said. "M- Mai? WHERE'D YOU GO, MAI?"  
  
Otogi plopped down in the seat beside Honda, and gave him a hug. "Konnichi wa. I'm on mind-altering drugs. Daisuke yo!"  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
*~*  
  
"Run away! Run away!"  
  
*~*  
  
"Yami?"  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"Tee-hee!" Yuugi said, and attacked/hugged him.  
  
"O.o." Yami blinked. "What was that for?"  
  
"I don't know. But I like you!"  
  
"Gee, I'd hope so; after all, you've been living me for quite a few months."  
  
"Not like that. I mean.oh.I like you in that way." _0.0_  
  
"Er.um."  
  
"CUT!"  
  
Yami and Yuugi look around, puzzled. Some men carrying cameras walk in the room.  
  
"We've overshot our budget. We're in the red. In fact, the light bill was due two weeks ago."  
  
The lights go out. A random techie pulls out the Magic Candle of Happiness, and lights it.  
  
"You have a blowtorch, too!?" Bakura yelled.  
  
"Now, now, Baku-chan," Ryou said, dragging him away from the confused techie holding a lighter.  
  
Anzu and Uncle Ingrid walk in, holding hands. Or rather, Anzu is holding Ingrid's hand and Ingrid is trying to get away. They are followed by Jounouchi (carrying an inhaler), Mai (laughing), Honda (trying to avoid Otogi), and Otogi (stalking Honda). Malik and Marik stumble in, immediately attaching themselves to a dark corner. Strange noises come from aforementioned darkened corner. Aunt George, Seto and Mokuba Kaiba, and all the extra people walk in. Everyone except Malik and Marik hold hands and bow.  
  
"O.K., EVERYONE! SOME STRANGE CRAZY PERSON WITH LOTS OF MONEY HAS MADE A DONATION TO OUR CAUSE! PLACES, EVERYBODY!"  
  
Yami and Yuugi shuffle back to their places, while everyone else (excluding MxM) run offstage. "Um."  
  
"What's wrong?" Yuugi whispered.  
  
"I forgot my line."  
  
"Just say you like me, too!"  
  
"Oh. O.K. I like you too, Yuugi!"  
  
"Yay!" More hugging.  
  
Yami gave him a kiss on the cheek.  
  
Behind the curtain came the yells of, "This is too mushy!" and "Catamite, catamite!"  
  
Random extra was gunned down. Bakura was spared, because he is sexy.  
  
On the limo ride home from Seto Kaiba's company-place, Yami had finally been persuaded to let Bakura drive (maybe he was on mind-altering drugs, like Otogi!), and he and Yuugi were sitting in the back.  
  
Yami stared down at the small fingers intertwined with his. Yuugi stared out the window at the crowded streets of Tokyo.  
  
They ran over a pothole. There were lots of potholes in Tokyo.  
  
AN: Yay! This fic is finally over! .I plan on having a sequel, perhaps titled 'Rice in Tokyo' or 'Bubbles in Tokyo', about Ryou's and Bakura's wedding. But that won't probably be anytime soon. I need to work on Room For Rent.  
  
Thanks to all the wonderful reviewers! I love you! .but I don't want to marry you, just so you know. yeah. That would be creepy, wouldn't it.  
  
Well.not much else to say.  
  
I hope you enjoyed reading the fic! -^_^- 


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